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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, dude, I gotta share my fave spots. Near the old town square, there's this tiny café called "Le Petite Joie" – a hidden gem where the coffee is as bitter as my first love but the pastries… gosh, they melt away your worries. I often daydream there, scribblin’ ideas for crazy massage techniques. Had one client joke that my kneading skills could fix more than muscles – like hearts, souls, and sometimes even a broken dreams... triiiiick, huh?

Anya Baum recalls living as a refugee in Russia during the Holocaust